Swearin' Karen

It has been said, "He who mocks shall morn."

Well, I guess I'm going to be wearing black for awhile.

While making fun of my friend's husband I jokingly gave him the nickname of "Lyin' Brian." After days of poking fun at him, he one day fired back with the moniker of, "Swearin' Karen."

"Aw, shoot! How could he possibly know that I have secretly been trying to kick the dang habit for years," I thought to myself. "How the "heck, am I going to live this one down. What a son-of-a blankety-blank! I guess I will just have to kick his butt later; there are kids around."

Ya, I wish that was what I really thought.

I never used to swear and was appalled at hearing anyone do so until my junior year of high school. It was then I became used to hearing such words often from the girls I was around. I remember thinking it was funny to say some of the words, but little did I know that they would become such a chronic disease to my tongue.

I don't consider myself to be a potty-mouth, as I don't take the name of the Lord in vain and I have never said the "F word," nor have I ever flipped anyone off. However, the hinted-out words two paragraphs above seem to slip from my lips or enter my thoughts more than I want them too (especially when I am suddenly scared, really mad or get hurt. And to be honest, I still sometimes get a kick out of saying them, even though I shouldn't.)

I recently got stuck on the phrase "Oh, h***'s bells!" for awhile and have successfully replaced that with "hot bananas" but the other cuss words seem to still plague me.

I once saw on an episode of the Simpson's that in order for Homer to kick his bad-word habit, his family created a "swear jar," in which he had to deposit cash for every swear word he uttered. By the end of the episode, after stepping on a nail, he was able to simply say, "Fiddle-De-Dee! That will require a Tetanus shot."

Does anyone have any other good ideas? I really don't want to wear d*** black clothing for the rest of my life.